A new season of frugal living

Once upon a time, both John and I both worked outside the home. We had pretty much matching paychecks. We bought pretty much whatever we wanted when we wanted it. We didn't budget. Once I calculated how much money we spent on eating out in a month, and it was several hundred dollars. Ridiculous. 

When I got pregnant with Emelie, I knew that I wanted to raise her myself. It didn't make sense to me to pay someone else, when I didn't have a career that paid big bucks. I liked my job, and found fulfillment in helping the community, but I knew that God was calling me to quit my job and be a fulltime mother.

Going from two paychecks down to one was very difficult. Duh. Suddenly I had to cook a lot. Even that seemed to cost a lot of money at first. There were even a few times we had a leave whole grocery cart of food at the register because we'd (and I mean I- I'm the money manager) miscalculated our funds and were broke. You only do that once before you really obsess over making sure you've done the math right!

I complained several times on Facebook about how broke we were. And a few people told me to start babysitting during the day to bring in some extra money. So I did that for 4 years. 

Recently the little girl I've watched for 3 years moved away. I asked God what he wanted me to do. Since we homeschool, I've found that the extra children distract me from our school time. I felt like God was telling me not to take in any extra kids for this season. I'm learning obedience is soooo much better than convenience.

I think that in today's society, we put so much emphasis on getting ahead financially. It's like going without something is super frowned upon. If something's broken, instead of fixing it, we buy a new one. We (American society) have disposable incomes. I once had a super disposable income. It didn't make me happier! If anything, it set me up for failure when we didn't have extra money! It took time to learn to be frugal. I'm still learning! 

I think the hardest thing about this life we've chosen is that few understand why we've chosen it! I'm always afraid people will assume I'm a lazy woman who wants to sit home and eat Bon Bons while watching soaps. We've chosen this life because it's what God has called us to.

So now that we're down to one income again, I've had to "find" money in John's paycheck!  My pay (about $100 a week) went towards our groceries. No more eating out when we feel like it. We're eating more beans made from scratch. No buying clothes just because it's cute. We're strategic with our spending. If we have enough gas for John to get to work and back, but no extra, I might not be able to go across town to see a friend. If we're invited to do something that costs money, and we don't have it- oh well! Everyone thinks that going without is such a horrible thing. We should be trying to make more money so we never have to tell ourselves or our children "No, we can't afford that". I think all that is teaching, is a self centered lesson. My pleasure is what matters. Me me me.

Our world may be teaching that through hard work, you can buy it all. But our family is choosing to live frugally. To work hard, yet live simply. For me, to work a job that is really belittled nowadays- not to mention doesn't pay cash- only kisses! To live under our means. To make it stretch and last. And to still be generous, knowing that we are blessed! 

"Gratitude makes what you have more than enough" (or something like that!)

I suspect that we will become less popular with friends and family as we may have to say no frequently. But true friends will be up to chicken tostadas at Jens! I am excited to see how God will make what he's provided us, to be more than enough! I look forward to planning ahead. To using up. Going without. Fixing things that are mend able. I look forward to Emelie learning how to be a good steward of what she has- and far less concerned about the things she doesn't have. I'm excited about this new phase in life!

"He always provides, sure as the sunrise. So I sing Him songs of praise, cause He keeps me in his gaze" Caedmons Call

Awww today was See You At The Pole! It always reminds me of when I was a teenager. 

I am really glad that I was raised in a home where going to church was expected. I might joke about the indoctrination that I received having gone to Christian school and my upbringing (there might be a few things I'm still working out in my own faith- luckily there's a book that's pretty straightforward with the answers;))- but the fact is I am glad my parents and teachers taught me from God's word. They might have taught us what to believe- but they followed it with scripture- scripture that is truth, its infallible. It's taken many years to sort through what I believe and how I react towards things I don't believe are right. I battle self righteousness constantly. But I am glad that I was given a straight path when I was young. 

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it" Proverbs 22.6

So thank you to my parents, teachers, and pastors. I am thankful that you've invested time and energy into my life. I'm glad that I was able to bypass much of the "experimental" times many youth face, who maybe don't have adults in their lives- possibly breathing down their necks;) Thank you for teaching me that relativity is not what Christians should be embracing, but that the Bible is our standard and anything that is contradictory is false. 

Another New Start????

I really stink at blogging! I really want to keep up with it. Today I realized that maybe I should enter my Facebook Status Update on to my blog and call it a day! Some of my updates are bloggy enough, you know? Long winded, will she just get to the point?! :D

So here is my Facebook status update, that I typed into Facebook, but copied and pasted here- and never posted to Facebook.

Its 10:30 and I've already done a big workout for me!!! I call it the Hulu workout. I walk in place, side step, sweat, and lift my medicine ball while while marching in place and watching an hour long program on Hulu. I got my moves from the Leslie Sansone walking videos (I just get irritated with her cheesiness on the videos, so I do her moves myself).Whats great about Hulu (well, in other instances its annoying) are the commercial breaks every 8 minutes or so. They're normally 30-60 minutes, giving me a chance to sit for a few seconds, stretch my back, take a drink- without cooling down:) So I'm good and caught up on last nights Beauty and the Beast, done with my workout, and ready to finish laundry before the weekend starts!

Today is a very important day to me. It marks 150 days of counting calories. I never thought I would be able to stick to counting calories for so long. I think in the whole time, there have only been a handful to times that I didn't complete the whole day (ie- I counted breakfast and lunch, but I had no idea how to count my friends meal they cooked for us- although I still applied healthy eating habits to my choices, etc...). I'm disappointed that I haven't lost much weight. You'd think that since I'm quite heavy, the weight would literally fall off...but it hasn't. I still wonder if I've cut my calories back too drastically (although after 150 days you'd think my body would have realized that's all its going to get- get used to it!). I keep it to 1200-1500 a day, which is pretty typical for dieters. I was eating around 3000+ with all the cheap fast food I was eating, almost every day. I've not had fast food in that whole time either. I do allow myself the grilled chicken salads if the rest of my family wants to eat at Chick Fil A or McDonalds, but they have to have the low calorie dressing and the salad itself has to be on the lower end of calories. But I haven't had a cheeseburger in that whole time.

So I'm hoping that since I've decided to suck it up and workout at home, I'm hoping that will help me meet some goals. I am not, nor will I ever be a gym rat. In fact, we still pay for our gym membership, but I haven't been there in months. There literally is no time to go. Some people say "Then you make time". My response...colorful words. I am not willing to sacrifice the few hours I get to hang out with my hubby and daughter as a family, so I can leave him and go to the gym after dinner. Besides, there's usually only 3 hours between John coming home and us all going to bed. No time. And I don't have a car to get out during the day. And my gym opens after John leaves for work and closes at 8....I should probably cancel it. So since things have changed so much in our home with work schedules, I'm trying to get in some workout times when the kids are playing. Or while we watch TV at night. I'm excited for this new, new start:)

Mommy Wars

I've come to a very random conclusion on birth. I bought into the lie that having a natural birth was more amazing than having a c-section. My conclusion: Who cares how a baby comes out! Is it living?! Congratulations! You got a living, breathing baby!!! Some time ago, I went to a meeting that encourages natural birth. I told a woman there about Oliveah, and how I had VBAC'd with her, but how she'd passed away 6 days later. She had the gall to congratulate me on having a natural birth, and said nothing about Oliveah's death. How the baby comes out is soooooo trivial to actually having a good healthy baby. I really wish I would have put more emphasis on this. More emphasis on how healthy is the baby, rather than- do you think I'll be able to do it naturally? I'm sorry I put you though so many months of a freaking out over how she would come out, over how healthy she would be. Her death is still not my fault or the midwife/Drs faults (so they say:)). But I want to say this: lets put less emphasis on how the baby comes out and more on the health of the baby and mom. These mommy wars have to stop! A mother is no less a mother because she pushed her child out. She is not mightier. In some cases she might be more prideful and seeking to feel better about herself, especially when she goes against a doctors wishes. People ask me all the time- when you get pregnant next time, how will you birth? I tell them- I don't know. I suppose I will do what the doctors say is best- and I'll probably be seeing specialists this time and not a midwife- again not that they had anything to do with her passing, just to ensure that I can have as many ultrasounds and blood tests that they will let me!

I've surrounded myself in my birth junkyness with people who are extreme. And I was on that extreme side. Reading about how many unnecessary c-sections are performed each year. Some of the reports are appalling. But who cares what other women are doing! If a woman wants to birth a certain way, and the doctors have advised her that its not safe- she is taking her life and the life of her baby into her own hands. I hope that she reads up on all that can go wrong, and is willing to accept those risks- and doesn't think that those horrible things can't happen to her.

I am pretty happy to live in this day and age, where we know so much about birth and pregnancy. We can many times see a problem before the baby is born- and that is amazing- cause a surprise unhealthy baby at birth is just horrible.

So all this to say- I wish other moms would shut the heck up about their beliefs that birthing a certain way is the best, or that breastfeeding exclusively is the only way to be. Although some of these things have major truth behind them- most of this lofty pointing out just makes other moms feel bad. And I still think its hilarious that my formula fed baby never got sick as a baby, while my friends breast fed babies were always sick!! Yup- I believe that your baby is healthier;)